On the need to understand why

As a survivor of suicide loss, you may have many questions around why your loved one took their life. Recognizing and accepting these thoughts and feelings can help you cope
On the need to understand why

Why me?

Why did they take their life?

They seemed to have it all going for them, what happened?

Why didn’t they reach out for help?

I haven’t got closure yet...

Questions and repetitive thoughts like these are normal to have and to be expected as a part of the grieving process. Most of us try to assign meaning to what has happened to us in an attempt to understand it. And while it may be tempting to analyze or rationalize what happened, the path to healing involves coming to terms with what has happened, and understanding what you can do with the feelings that you have about the loss itself.

Recognizing, understanding, accepting and expressing your thoughts and feelings can help you deal with the event.

This article is part of a series on Understanding and coping with a loss to suicide. Read the other articles in this series:

1. Why suicide grief can be complex

2. What does grief look like?

3. Self-care in the immediate aftermath

4. On the need to understand why

5. Where should you seek help?

6. Grieving together with family and friends

7. Breaking the news to others

8. What to do with the note

This series has been compiled with inputs from Shweta Srinivasan, psychologist, The Mind Clan and former suicide bereavement support group manager at Sisters Living Works and Nyana Sabharwal, co-founder of We Hear You, a suicide support bereavement group.

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